The First Night

We often think that people can't change or somehow their present life was determined by their past. The fact is people can change. No matter how bad their past experiences are. There is a word called determinism, it means that we try to explain everything with cause and effect through our past experiences. This means that our future has been determined by our past. The thing that we can do is focus on present goals instead of past experiences.

The most interesting thing in this chapter for me is that The Adlerian psychology denies trauma.

"No experience in itself a cause of our success or failure. We do not suffer from the shock of our experiences - the so-called trauma - but instead we make out of them whatever suits our purposes. We are not determined by our experiences, but the meaning we give them is self-determining."

"Your life is not something that someone gives you, but something you choose yourself, and you are the one who decides how you live."

This point of view is really interesting for me because I feel like I have my own trauma for a lot of things. It stops me from doing what I really want to do in life. I tend to pull out those trauma whenever we needed to. And by denying trauma doesn't mean that those horrible past experiences don't have any effects on us, the experience is real but they don't determine our future.

The other thing that this part covers beside trauma is emotion.

Emotions exsist but people are capable of controlling them.

One example from the book is anger. Anger is an instantaneous emotion and we often feel that we can't control them. Whenever we got angry we shout. Anger is the emotion and shouting is the action we take according to our emotion. Actually we can communicate anger in a different way but we choose shouting so people will listen to us. Anger is also a tool that can be taken out at any time we want to.